Real Housewives do Windows…

I am a housewife, I guess as far as society standards are concerned. I am a wife and I have a house…Or at least I thought I was until I watched a “The Real Housewives of…” marathon. There are many housewives in this whole “of” thing. They come from DC, New Your, New Jersey , Atlanta , Beverly Hills and Orange County (the original) . Word has it there are more to come, rumor has it Miami is on the way. I am currently working on a pitch for “The Real Housewives of Kitchener”… just working on the cast. Turns out it is harder that is looks to casts these “The Real Housewives of” shows. As I worked my way through my address book I was trying to find some friends who had all the B’s that the women in these shows. Botox, Bling, Big Boobs, Big Hair, Bad Tans, Bad Hair, Bad Botox, Bad Collagen, Bad Boobs . When I finally made it on to the letter C, there was no one in my address book under “Cougar”. A las, no cast for me. The Housewives of DC, which premiered in August, has even casted  the White House party crasher Michelle Salahi as a cast member. It was this woman and her husbands actions that caused presidential Social Secretary Desiree Rogers to be fired. This brings the term “Attention Whore” to a whole new level. However, with controversy, you have ratings and with ratings you have a show that makes money. Good thing it makes something, because it absolutely makes no sense. As for the other shows, they are all cookie cutters of each other, just set in different cities. Full of women who have too much and care too little about anything that is past their own nose. I was hoping for at least some good eye candy as far as fashion goes, a las, I am not a fan of leopard print and gold trim. It’s like Jersey Shore only with bigger bank accounts and the fist pumping is saved for the cat fights. So as I sat and watched the train wreck on my television screen, I could not help but as why? A simple question I know, but with so many possible answers. With all the fake boobs, tans, hair, lips, friendships and laughter, there’s not a whole “Real” about any of these women. The tag lines for these shows are all about selling the idea of  following the lives of “Intelligent, Ambitious, Successful women”. As an editor I feel I must edit this tag line. It should read more like, following the lives of  “Indulgent, Narcissistic, Spoiled Brats with no grasp of anything real. Who like to cus each other out and pull hair.” Now that sounds more a like a reality show. So I am just not cut out for this show, my lips are to thin, my boobs to saggy, my IQ to high and my hem line to low. A las, there goes my 15 minutes of fame. The Real Wives Club…Wallbanger 1-1/2 oz. vodka?1/2 oz. Galliano 2 ounces Orange Juice 1 ounce Blueberry juice Shake all ingredients well with ice and serve in a tall glass of ice. Garnish with a shred of decency.

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