All Dadded Up With Nowhere to Go: 6 Months In

I almost forget what life was like before.

This time last year, I was a different man. Looking at my blog, I partied in Vegas; was still off the high from a 2012 full of adventure and being a man about town — I had the freedom to do just about anything my imagination could whip up! Sarah was a few month pregnant, but I was the father — for me, it mostly meant extra support and being a little more present — I didn’t have to deal with the nausea, hormonal changes or anything else that came with the territory.

It’s hard to believe that at some point, he was swallowed by his car seat!

This morning, I compared that Casey to the one I saw in the mirror — while a changed man, arguably a more grounded version than the one he knew a year prior.

I haven’t fallen victim to many of the stereotypes and horror stories that veteran parents so love sharing with us newbies: I’m not suffering from chronic fatigue — in fact, I probably sleep better now that I’m home more often; my child hasn’t ruined my life — there were rougher patches in the early months, but as we figure his rhythm out, I love coming home to his coos and smiles as he gets ready to play with his silly Daddy (even if it is for only a few hours a day); no, I’d say fatherhood has been pretty good to me so far, forcing me to step away from the world of glitz and swag I was enthralled with as a lifestyle blogger. It forced me to really look at my life and figure it all out.

So when people ask me what life is like as a parent, I never have a simple answer. With my son creeping up on six months since his exodus from the womb, our relationship’s grown, he’s already developed into a very different person, and I’m trying to figure out what kind of kid he’ll be. Here’s some things I’ve already noticed with him…

L’il Mr. Smiley

Most of the time, I can get him laughing without fail (not really a “laugh, but a wide grin accompanied by the tell-tale sign of his amusement.)

Whether it’s shaking my head side to side like a bobblehead, blowing hair dryer-grade raspberries on his stomach, or creating an entire dance routine for him, I’m definitely his comedian parent.

But the laughs only last as long as the distractions keep up — his default look is a quizzical one as he works to make sense of his world

L’il Mr. Grabbyhands

I didn’t fully realize it until one night where I walked the house with him outstretched before me, and everything we came across was — quite literally — up for grabs. And don’t let his size fool you — the kid’s got a serious vice grip, and may the fates be kid to you should he grab anywhere you find especially painful! (If anyone has a name for the infant supermove where they stick their fingers up your nostrils and then hang on for dear life, I’d love to hear it!)

If I was ever worried about the kid’s coordination, I think I’m good now, thanks.

L’il Big Man

I didn’t start appreciating how quickly kids can grow until within months, he went from a little 6 lb 11 oz thing that came out 3 weeks early to a hulking 20-pound beast, outweighing and outsizing babies months older than him!

Needless to say, I’ve been getting my workout with him as he gets bigger!

Not so little anymore, is he???

So who am I now? Well, obviously I’m still a blogger — if this post isn’t example enough, you can always see more of my exploits on my blog and Instagram. I manage to work to live, balancing the job out with a life that lets me enjoy what money I do see from the biweekly paycheque (Rebalancing Budgets with Babies has to be a future topic!)

Calm. That’s what I feel — calm. That feeling where you know that everything will ultimately be okay. That all the stresses, pressures and problems I face today may not be here tomorrow and are wastes of time and energy — valuable resources I could use elsewhere. That it’s okay if I don’t blog for a bit — good content is good content, and if I employ the patience and determination to put it together, it’ll eventually get there. But above all, six months into fatherhood, I’ve re-learned the value of family and friends — the people you keep close, the people who rely on you. In ways, my world’s gotten smaller as a parent, but more enriching at the same time. Interactions that might last a minute or two with my son mat have impacts lasting days. The time I do get with people I don’t see often is far more meaningful, and makes more of a lasting impression on my mind than when it was all lights and all partying all the time. I feared that the universe as I knew it would shatter with the cries of my son, but all it did was change.

And we could all use a little change in our lives.

–case p.