Now before you jump the gun, maybe our definition of spoiled is two completely different things. In fact there are different ways of looking at being spoiled, a couple being; a spoiled brat which needs no further explanation and spoiled financially. At this point you may still be saying, “That’s not me or this post isn’t about me” in which I implore you to go into the child’s room (if you even have to do this) and take a look at the amount of items are there that are just sitting in place and I bet at this very time you can easily think of something he/she wants to be using right now that you don’t have. I bring this situation up to paint a picture of how drastic our parenting skills have changed since I was a child (I’m 36 as of writing this). I’m also not saying I disagree with a parent buying a child something nice or to play with, just maybe that they evaluate why they are buying it and does the reward (because that’s what it is) fit the actual point in the process?
If I think back to my childhood right up to the point I started to work as well as any of my average statistical friends, we received things at set times throughout the year. Birthdays, Grading/Grad, Christmas and other holidays you may get something small at times like Easter or some other religious event as it may just be a traditional family thing but otherwise it was kept to these times specifically. Going to the store, no matter which store, I can remember asking for something such as toys treats etc., but 99.9% of the time was told (usually by my mother) “This isn’t Christmas!” and she was absolutely right, it wasn’t. I was able to answer that with “yes it is” once in my life, when we had to be in the mall to pick something up on Christmas Eve, to which I can still feel the burning eyes…lol. I know now that I was spoiled as a child too, but it was spoiled with love and encouragement. Instead of being given things to play with, I was “played with”.
I write this after walking out of my own child’s room discovering that my child is financially spoiled and believe me, I can think of better ways that money could be spent on her. Do we want to be down the road in life on a road that we travel extremely fast and realize that just a portion of it would have been a great down payment towards schooling or a hand up on a much needed item? I know I don’t want to be in that spot…
In all of this, luckily we have been able to keep the “Brat” issue out of the picture or at the very least to a minimum. She is 7 and has her moments, but not like I have seen from some other people’s children and we can really only consider it to be choosing not to let her get away with things we don’t feel is right. Going through everything she owns we have made three piles, The Keep, The Sell and The Donate in which funds will be put in her bank account to grow and the next time I feel the need to buy something unnecessary I’ll place the value of it in her account for 24 hours and see after that if it indeed is a necessity or just a whim like most are. I ask you to take a moment and go to your child(s) room and do what I have done and honestly tell me what you think and what changes will you make from here?