By now you have all already probably heard about the 9 year old boy who’s backpack was banned from school by his principle. I have been debating this topic for a while now with friends, family members and even online in mommy communities because quite simply put, the controversy is all wrong in my opinion.
Let me give you a little background about my situation. I am a proud mom of two gorgeous (I am bias) boys, who are very active, creative and fun-loving all around regular kids- except for the fact that in our home my boys play mostly with Barbie dolls, dress up clothes and glitter whenever possible – our entire house has now turned for the most part PINK! To be honest, when DS (now 7) first became interested in dolls I didn’t give it a second thought, the way I saw it was that my child took interest in something, because he really wasn’t into much at all before that point. We did get the occasional stare and a lot of comments when he would paint his nails or even wear a tutu in public, but both my husband and I agreed that by tapping into his personal self-expression, it would one day make him a strong individual.
To be honest, I never post about this topic because of the fact that people both online and in the real-world can be cruel – but this type of bullying needs to STOP.
Yes, as a toddler playing with dolls did not seem to phase most people but you see, school and parents are where true problems start. Yes, I am not going to lie, Cookie got bullied and I was spoken to by both parents of other children and teachers alike- but he pulled through. My tiny little soldier was stronger than I could ever be, he stood proud of his likes and kept strong to a point that I can truthfully say (finally) he has adjusted his environment to suit his personality.
In my opinion- this is what true individuals are made of.
I can rant on about how glorious my story is- but the truth is, not all children are as strong as my little Cookie is. Yes, i do understand that some peoples principals may be different, and I accept that, but it doesn’t have to infringe or create a premise for the way my children will be raised. Most children need the support and understanding from the people they look up to the most – their friends. With principals, teachers and parents constantly putting them down, there is no hope for these young children to ever evolve and accept things that may be eccentric or different.
What a boring world we would live in without color, life and love.
I am so proud of this 9 year old who held strong and I truly wish that one day he can walk down the street wearing his backpack confidently.
I would love to hear your thoughts, what did you think of the Backpack Story? Do you agree with the principal?
(All opinions are welcome)
This story also hits home for me. I feel so sad for the little guy! I have a DS who loves ponies and though isn’t yet school age would likely want a similar backpack. I can only hope that the school will reconsider.
Great post!
I think it’s great you let him express himself in such a way. My almost 7 yr old son (who has a twin sister and an older sister, not to mention to cousins I care for as well) expresses himself with nail polish, he use to wear hair clips and still plays ‘dolls’ with his sisters. He dressed up in their play clothes and wore tiaras, there is NOTHING wrong with it, you are correct when you say it’s the adults that have the issue. I don’t understand why people would think it’s such a big deal. Honestly, if my daughters went to school with a “boy” (and I use that term loosely, because it’s what the media tells us) backpack, they wouldn’t be looked at twice. Terrible double standard, kudos to you and your husband for helping your son stick to his principles and allowing him to the opportunity to express himself as he sees fit! 🙂
I totally agree with this Mother. For the Principal to state that the child is asking for trouble by wearing this backpack then what about the children that have special needs or are bullied because of race, religion or size. Should they all be left at home?? This is a topic very near and dear to my heart. We as a society have to come together and teach acceptance not avoidance.
Our children are the most precious asset that we have to ensure our success in the future to come! The thoughts of any child regardless of gender roles are important to them. It is the responsibility of the parent to allow the child to express their desires whether main stream agrees with it or not. The parents who shun these behaviors are not so much concerned about the child’s well-being as they are about their image and how others view them. It does not hurt anyone for this young man or any other child to express their desires in any form as long as it is not self-harming. Think about the generations previous to us where something as trivial as a girl wearing slacks was socially unacceptable. What this comes down to is just plain ignorance on the principal’s and parents part. I know that if my child showed nontraditional gender interest my only question would be the same as I always ask my children about their interests and desires; What about this is appealing to you? if we took the time to listen to these children instead of being judgmental we might have saved a ton of time and esteem of these children. My heart and support goes out to those parents who are not in practice of stifling their children’s true individuality!
Thanks for sharing Shannon, amazing how innocent children are. I really wish you and your son the best!
Thank you so much, your thoughts and words mean so much to me. You are correct when you say that there is a terrible double standard. I can only hope time will change this.
Thanks for sharing!
Exactly! A backpack is nothing compared to the bigger issues! Just goes to show that bullying comes in all shapes and sizes :z
Tiffany, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Instead of bullying we should be aiding.
Thanks so much!
I am a mom of five children ( 4 girls and 1 boy ) who in there own right are all different. One of my daughters wears boys and girls clothing. She doesn’t care what anyone thinks. She wears a lot of Disney clothing as I work for this amazing company. For the first few years they were teased that they were wearing “kids clothes”. My kids never changed, I asked them if they wanted other clothing, other accessories other anything. It was always their choice.now everyone thinks it’s so cool …… I am the. Disney mom.I applaud you and your husband for supporting your child with how he wants to express himself. In this day and age of school awareness to bulling/discrimination I am sad to see a teacher, principal or any other person who is part of the shaping our children take such a stance.
I’m sure you and most of PTPA know where I stand on this issue! Did the principal actually say the kid was asking for trouble? I’m seriously shaking I’m so angry! We live in the land of the free, where people are “free” to be themselves and I also applaud you and your husband Meri. You’re teaching your son to love himself and others as they are and that’s the best way to change this World, teaching acceptance!
I think this is ridiculous for the parents and especially for the little boy.
Children need to be able to express themselves and the last thing they are thinking of is trying to upset anyone. How unfair!
I can be quite conservative; I grew up with a very conservative family although things have changed dramatically over the years when my brother and sister got their tattoos and we all started to express ourselves in our own creative way.
Thankfully I have wonderful parents that are accepting and love their kids immensely to allow them to make their own well-informed decisions.
Little children only want to emulate what they see and find beautiful and fun and they are so innocent.
Life will only get harder when they’re older so why not just let them express and enjoy now?
By the way, I love how your boys embrace pink, dolls and glitter! LOVE!
And how amazing of parents and the support system you have. I can say that is not common even in this day an age to have parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. be so accepting. It’s a very beautiful thing.
My daughter loves pink, glitter and dolls but she also prefers playing soccer and pretending she’s a karate jedi master sometimes over that as well.
I hate it when some refers to her as being a “tomboy”. Why does this word even exist?
I wrote a recent post as well about this same thing.
Enjoy the fun and personal expression in our innocent children as this will surely mold them into responsible, loving, AMAZING adults that understand the importance of acceptance… the world needs more of them.
Oh Meri your post gave me goosebumps! I love your line, “What a boring world we would live in without color, life and love.” Yes, I whole-heartedly agree! As a girl who was taught to be a “proper lady” growing up (and hated every minute of it), and who’s little brother had his dreams crushed because our father wouldn’t allow him to take dance classes because it wasn’t “what boys should do”, I envy your boys for having two amazing parents who accept, encourage, support and love their boys – sparkles, tutu’s and all! *hugs* You’re awesome!
Thanks so much for being so supportive! You are right, the double standard totally SUCKS!!
Thanks for sharing, I am glad to see that in your household you let your children express themselves too!
WTG!
Jason, you totally nailed it! The land of the ‘free’….
Thanks so much for understanding Jay, I know you are an awesome dad too! 😉
Carol,
This is exactly what gets me….children are so expressive and somewhere as we grow up, we lose that!
By putting labels on people (any person) we are in term aiding in the destruction of childhood innocence. So sad.
Glad your family has ‘evolved’ and are accepting of your children! I know you are a great mama!
*Blush* Thanks Janine, I was totally being honest. I hated seeing my son bullied, but I think that it is MORE important to teach our children that their is nothing wrong with self-expression.
So sad, that your brother couldn’t be a dancer. Bet he was good at it too. My boys are both in dance right now, and are loving every minute of it!!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I really appreciate it.
Meri